The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck: Values

After listening to The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck: A Counterintuitive Guide to Living a Good Life it made me contemplate my own values. This involves reflecting on what I currently value, what I once valued and what my values should, maybe even need, to be. The idea is to better help me achieve my goals and a sense of fulfilment.

I’ve added an image. It’s a great book, a short read (or listen), accessible, and concisely written. Check it out. I’ll be reading Manson’s Everything is Fucked: A Book About Hope once I’ve finished Stephen Fry’s Mythos. I’ve only just started it but it’s a nice compliment to the series of blogs I’m writing on storytelling.

 

(Images extracted from Amazon.co.uk)

Values naturally change over time for a variety of reasons. There have been times when, both consciously and unconsciously, my values have been beneficial and detrimental. After listening to Manson’s audiobook I’ve been thinking about times I made decisions altering the course of my life. Opportunities taken and missed; relationships ended, pursued or never begun; careers disregarded; people I under or over-valued and others neglected entirely. All of this informs the values I choose for myself.

I like this way of thinking. I like it because it makes you, the individual, responsible for your own actions. There are no scapegoats. No excuses. It’s your fault but it can be resolved by addressing what you choose to value. This is a core part of the book. It addresses the fact that what happens in your life is directly affected by what you choose to Give a Fuck about. By the same token, you are also choosing what not to Give a Fuck about. So, I’ve considered new values, better things to Give a Fuck about in order to help me improve aspects of my life:

• Being honest with myself and my loved ones – Anyone who knows me will probably scoff at this, it’s likely both a boon and a curse of my friendship, you’re getting my unvarnished opinion whether you like it or not. It’s not always ideal but I have no filter. Probably explains my small circle of friends. I need to focus that cutting scrutiny on myself. Cutaway the bullshit and focus on what matters.
• Being confident in my own abilities – Doing things. Sounds obvious, right? That’s because it is and looking at it now it angers me to write it but in the interest of honesty I need to include it. I’ve really come to undervalue myself and my own abilities. I would’ve found the idea of me lacking confidence absurd a few years ago but there it is and I need to remedy it. The best way to do that is to take risks, be bold, and move forward. Prove to myself I’m good at what I do. As Jordan Peterson, would say “Stand up straight with your shoulders back” and plough on.
• Always improve my professional competence – Doubling down on my skills. Competence breeds confidence. Part of writing this blog is to do with competence. It’s informal writing practice. I don’t need to continually double check I’m not wrong, it’s just my opinion and it gets ideas on paper. But, with respect to improving my professional skills… see that call for conference papers, Euan? Get one in. That professional workshop on research methods? Get your ass along to it.
• Fully commit to my endeavours – Once beginning a task I need to see it through promptly. No procrastinating or putting frivolous things before work. My seven-year PhD is a testimony to this… certain unfortunate factors aside (which I might go into another time), this process has gone on two and half years too long for absolutely no reason. Four years would have been acceptable. The only person losing out is me. It could be anything from the frivolous to the imperative, e.g. getting a faster 5km time, getting a heavier deadlift, eat more veggies, save a mortgage deposit, not abandoning relationships pre-maturely. I need to fully commit to my endeavours. Honesty substantially impacts this, I need to be honest with myself about what’s important and what I wish to achieve, not just in any given day but in the future too. Confidence will improve this way too. Achieving goals is a win. It bolsters you. It helps you realise what you can achieve and perhaps limitations placed on yourself are holding you back.
• Temperance – This is informed by honesty and commitment. I mean temperance in the Aristotlean sense, conscious and deliberate exercising of self-control. It’s cutting down on all the extra-curriculars which have started taking up entirely too much of my time. If we envision a pie-chart depicting how my time is allocated amongst activities, all of those considered fun take up too much of my time. That needs reigned right in.
• To become fully independent – I need to stand on my own two feet again. I regressed about four years ago, things got tough and instead of standing up and taking it on the chin I ran away, hid and developed a lot of bad habits. I lost a grip on my own sense of purpose and I’ve become dependant on other people. Time to fix that.

There it is. That’s what I’ve chosen to Give a Fuck about. I’ve burned these six things into my brain and I know when I’m living by these values and when I’m not. When I forget I’ll come back on to publish a blog entry and there they’ll be. Reminding me of what I promised myself I’d do to be better at what’s important to me. Honesty; Confidence; Competence; Commitment; Temperance; Independence.